Big Picture

Currently listening to: say anything- red cat/yellow cat

Well this week was intense. Next week I have my first mid-term like tests so we had problem sets due in each class causing some late nights and long hours staring at partial derivitives and trying to remember what integration is. School is going well though. My entire mission I was pretty nervous about coming back to school but I am doing fine. When I left I had a 4.27 GPA which was incredible and while I don't think I am going to repeat that this semester due to different courses that I am taking I do think I should be able to get around a 4.0 again which is good. That is how I make it here at West Point. I study my brains out to make up for the lost "college experience" which while is not that important does have some utility that I need to make up for with grades. My reasoning is if I graduate with a high enough GPA getting into the Stanford School of Business when I leave the Army won't be too difficult and by going to that institution I will have a very good job that will allow me to support my family. Being here I have to keep looking ahead. When I stop looking ahead I begin to get down on things and lose perspective on why I am doing what I am doing. Writing this is actually helping me because I am forced to reflect on why I have made the decisions that I have. The biggest decisions that I have made in my life are: 1. Going to West Point and 2. Going on a mission. I absolutly do not regret either of these decisions that I made. Coming to West Point has pushed me more than any place could and I know that this will pay dividends in the future both professionaly and personally. Going on a mission is the best thing that I ever could have done for my life because I was able to get to know my Savior personally and understand the Atonement better thus creating a stronger internal desire to follow Him.
However in the short term the results of both of these decisions are difficult to deal with when the big picture is forgotten. If I had gone to Duke University instead of coming here I would not live in a barracks and would not have haircut inspection every thursday etc. If I had not gone on a mission I would right now be graduated from West Point and would be actually making money, probably married, and most importantly would not be here! Now don't misunderstand me, I do not regret either of these decisions that I made. It is just that when I forget the big picture these decisions are harder to legitimize, especially the first one (surely going on a mission is a good thing no matter what, the Lord commanded me to do it, and you can never go wrong when following His orders.)
I am thankful for wise parents who have helped me to make the decisions that I have made and I am thankful for the "Balls" (sorry but I can't think of a better term) that lead me to both come here and go to Cambodia.
The big picture thing is so important for me at this point of my life. Everything that I am doing has little immediate benifit but in the long run it will. Freak even with my girlfriend I have to look to the future because of the space between us. Bottom line for me is that I need to step back and remember the big picture. I need to not get caught up in the day to day blahs of being a cadet, and of being away from my girlfriend.

2 midterms next week=mad studying tomorrow! Good thing the weather forecast is rain, hopefully that will make studying a little easier.